5.) Dear Marian....

I am consumed with devastation

Your image lingers in my mind

I am trapped underneath this tragic heartbreak

A sinking ship suffocates me last breath

I whisper your name, "Marian, Marian" as the water crushes my lungs to death

A never ending death

I replay the sweet surrendering glimpse of light

Your smile and euphoric green eyes made me pleasantly paralyzed

You are the sun that shined

Now I am torn into the black sphere of darkness

Lost and wandered in total disillusion under a starless night

I reach out my arms as my fingers crawl

But your voice disappears and becomes more silent

I have become deaf to the tragic circumstances

I want to run after you

I want to slash my wrists to take away your despair

But I have fallen too far down I cannot reach you

I wave my fists into the ground

Interlocking my fingers through dirt

I cry and I scream and I want to die

Love has been ripped from me

I cannot fight

I cannot breathe

Unable to cope or comprehend

The last soldier on the field grieving a brutal end

You are gone and you will not hear me

I kneel and make my plea

I want to save you

I want to heal you

You were the calming force

That surrendered this manic soul

Now a withering corpse

Shedding a tear from every memory

I save all your words and the times you stared at me

A thousands pills of sedation

Will not rest my battered heart

I went in with only pure intentions

But I am a wreckage

Falling endlessly into my bottomless pit of guilt and grief

I will dream of you

In all my intoxicating nightmares

I have nothing left to hold onto....

~georgetowne ray

~losing you is the worst feeling ever experienced~

~109daysofalovenowfades~

~12/14/15-3/31/16~