5.) Dear Marian....

I am consumed with devastation

Your image lingers in my mind

I am trapped underneath this tragic heartbreak

A sinking ship suffocates me last breath

I whisper your name, "Marian, Marian" as the water crushes my lungs to death

A never ending death

I replay the sweet surrendering glimpse of light

Your smile and euphoric green eyes made me pleasantly paralyzed

You are the sun that shined

Now I am torn into the black sphere of darkness

Lost and wandered in total disillusion under a starless night

I reach out my arms as my fingers crawl

But your voice disappears and becomes more silent

I have become deaf to the tragic circumstances

I want to run after you

I want to slash my wrists to take away your despair

But I have fallen too far down I cannot reach you

I wave my fists into the ground

Interlocking my fingers through dirt

I cry and I scream and I want to die

Love has been ripped from me

I cannot fight

I cannot breathe

Unable to cope or comprehend

The last soldier on the field grieving a brutal end

You are gone and you will not hear me

I kneel and make my plea

I want to save you

I want to heal you

You were the calming force

That surrendered this manic soul

Now a withering corpse

Shedding a tear from every memory

I save all your words and the times you stared at me

A thousands pills of sedation

Will not rest my battered heart

I went in with only pure intentions

But I am a wreckage

Falling endlessly into my bottomless pit of guilt and grief

I will dream of you

In all my intoxicating nightmares

I have nothing left to hold onto....

~georgetowne ray

~losing you is the worst feeling ever experienced~

~109daysofalovenowfades~

~12/14/15-3/31/16~

4.) Drift

4.) Drift

My eyes are crippling
My mind agonizing
Praying for peace as I fall asleep
An indulgence for mercy of death
Would forego berating suffering
I only saw your face behind the mask
As you would drift to sleep
The game of falling in love
The drug that put me under
A magic trick slipped into the drink you were pouring
A spell I fell, from gullible prince to bitter toad
You the wicked insufferable witch
Wrapped in persona of a Cinderella disguise
Tangled through your soft skin
Burned invisible webs through my body
I can still feel the fire
A deserting love's scorn
Fueled within an empty vessel
Consumed only with confusion
My attempts to close in
With futile spears, failing to penetrate
Through the famine appetite of your cynical heart
Forever dissatisfied
Polar opposite to my desire of intense intimate attachment
Pushes as I drift, drift, drift away
Dissolved into abstraction of crushed pieces
You can try to mold me into your emotional crutch
But you can never again pick me apart.

~georgetowne ray